Borat- Cultural Learnings of America to Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

Borat- Cultural Learnings of America to Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

2006 Comedy/Mockumnetary

1hr 26 min

Yeah, I'm a hype-whore, so of course I went to see Borat- Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. Actually, I remember seeing a preview months ago, before I knew anything about it, and thinking I'd see it just for the title (it's perfect, isn't it?) That and the thong. The movie was really fun. Squeamy, uncomfortable fun. I felt, while watching it, much the way I feel when I'm in Vegas and I see people way more drunk than I am. You know, like suddenly someone is naked peeing on the carpet or something, and you laugh cuz that shit is FUNNY, but it also makes you feel kinda bad. Like, you KNOW some poor maid is gonna have to clean up the piss later, and SHE won't think it's anything to smile about. But anyway, I guess now that some of the people in the movie are embarrassed or suing or whatever, I can kinda feel for them. They're not movie stars or anything, and I'm sure whatever they signed off on wasn't like the reality show people's contracts. They're the maids that have to clean up the piss. Not exactly a cool position to be in. And all because they didn't know how to deal with a caricature. Know what I mean? I guess my take on the movie is how odd manners are, and how polite Americans are, for the most part. I think one of the major reasons the people in that movie come off so strange is that they're trying, you know, TO BE NICE. In our crazy multi-cultural society, we're all taught to not judge other cultures. So OK, yeah, the people in the movie come off as pretty stupid for actually thinking that someone like Borat would be acceptible in some other country. Condescending, even. I can see that. But I still felt kinda good about that chick that tried to teach him how to use the toilet. I don't know, I just did. And I had to grin when I saw the car salesman brush off the "how many gypsies can I kill with this car?" type questions. I mean, we've all been in sales, at one time or another. We've all pretended to smile at some jerk's lame "jokes" just to make a sale. Come on, man, we're capitalists. You don't have to agree with someone, let alone like someone, to do business with them. It's why we all get to live together the way we do. Otherwise, we'd be back to "Whites Only" or "No Girls Allowed!" or some other crap like that. If anything, I think the movie proved Americans are pretty tolerant, overall. Most of them, anyway. But I'm getting too political, and that wasn't my point. What I thought was interesting was the whole manners deal. I mean, really, what would YOU do if you had to deal with someone like Borat, like at work or something? I must sheepishly admit I'd probably just nod half-assed to whatever he was saying and then get the hell away, like much of the people in the movie. And yeah, if I was on the subway and he tried to kiss me on the cheek, I'd probably push him away and run off too. Wouldn't you?

The Godfather I & II

The Godfather 1972 Crime/Drama 2hr 58 min The Godfather Part II 1974 Crime/Drama 3hr 22 min Oh boy did AMC mess me up this weekend. I mean, I had all these plans to clean the apartment top to bottom, cook a bad ass dinner, and blah blah blah. But then, I turn on the tv in the morning, and, wait, what is this? An all weekend Godfather marathon?!! Wha...ttt?!!! Well, there you go. But let me tell you, getting a sore ass from sitting around watching I & II over and over again (they WERE also showing III, thankfully, so I did manage to get my cleaning and cooking done doing those 3 hour stretches) was worth it. Man, those movies are so... So Raven! You know, it's weird how they never get old. Like, NEVER. You really could watch them over and over again and find new things all the time. And you know, the first one came out in '72, the second in '74 (when I was born) so I've pretty much been watching those things all my life. Let's see. My love affair started at birth, cuz I know my mom went to see Part II over and over again in the theatre, and I think she took little newborn me (to the horror of the other people in the audience, who were then pleasantly surprised by the fact that I only cried twice; once to get my mom to lift me up so I could see the screen better, and again when Fredo got shot). During my elementary school days, I got to watch the movie every time the networks would show it on tv, complete with a full narrative provided by my mom and my uncle, who then answered all my little girl questions, like "By having Apollonia meet Michael with a deformed jaw and love and accept him as a husband anyway, do you think Puzo meant to show us that an Italian woman would be better suited as the wife of a Godfather, because she would know from the get-go of the monster within, mommy?" or "do you think this a parable on the isolation of immigrants in the USA, Tio?". You know, typical nosy kid questions. I read the book when I was around 12, and that's when I discovered that the movie I'd seen on network tv was totally edited. I mean, wowe, NO WONDER I'd always liked Sonny! That little scene with him and the bridesmaid Lucy was the first sex scene I ever read (page 18, I still remember!) and it's still one of my favorites. By the way, I read the book so many times it tore in half, which ended up being a good thing, because it made it easier to fit in front of whatever textbook I was supposed to be reading in class. Finally, when we got a VCR in middle school, I got to watch the unedited version, and I fell in love all over again. I got to see Sonny bang Lucy up against the wall, got to see the bloody horse head, Apollonia's boobies, and Moe Green's shot up eyeball. YAY!!! In high school, The Godfather III came out, and... well, I went back to renting I and II again, over and over, until the memory of that horrid mess (Michael joking around with spiky hair? What the FUCK?) thankfully faded from my memory. So see, it's been a lifelong love affair for me. Every two years or so, I go through my little Godfather marathons, and I always find a new little theme to explore. Like, what do these films say about the role of women? Immigrants? Family? And then there's all these new little details, like hey! when they kill Luca Brasi, the camera moves behind a glass screen with a fish design (sleep with the fishes, my friend), oh and speaking of old Luca, he's SO the inspiration for The Usual Suspects' Keyser Soze. Think about it. And ever notice how right before Mike pops the cop and the other dude at the restaurant, you can hear the sound of a train, kinda like, his last chance to jump on the train to a normal life is leaving him behind? Finally, there's always a new character to focus on. When I was little, I was all into Sonny and his big... uh, HEART. Then in high school I went through my Vito phase, old and young. See what I mean? Hell, I've even gone through a Tom phase! And then there's Michael, who's always been the love of my life (he's one of the reasons I only like guys with dark hair and big eyes, he's who I named my Ken Doll Mike after, who got to fuck all the Barbies until I unfortunately lost his head, and he's the reason why if I ever have a little boy, I'm gonna name him Michael, even if Michael Sprankle sounds kinda weird when you say it out loud). This time, however, it was all about Fredo for me. I dunno, I guess maybe I'm going through a loser phase or something, cuz something about him just tore my heart in half. And you know, that actor John Cazale was really something else. I mean, think about it: the dude only made 5 movies before he died in '78, but Jesus, those were THE 5 movies: The Godfather I, The Godfather II, The Conversation, Dog Day Afternoon, Deer Hunter. Wow. Oh, and he was engaged to Meryl Streep. If ever anyone can claim artistic and personal perfection... Anyway, geez, what a geek I am. I mean, look at me go on and on about this. And the sad thing is, I could probably keep going, but I'll stop. Just one last thing, though. I've noticed, like I said earlier, that everytime I watch these flicks I bond with a character. Right now I'm a rather unfortunate mixture of Tom/Fredo. You know, a goofy outsider. Who are you?