Monday, April 02, 2007

Julio Iglesias, Mike Tyson and Blades of Glory

We bought tickets to "Blades of Glory" with plenty of time to kill, so Daniel and I headed on down to Amoeba Records to buy some tunes. As usual, I marched straight to the Easy Listening LP's, hoping against hope to find the elusive "Hey!" album by Julio Iglesias. And this time, it was there!

I've been looking for that LP for YEARS. Finally, it is mine, to be framed and displayed in some prominent place in my home.

Why on earth would I do that, you ask? Because the cover is PRICELESS. If you haven't seen it, I'll describe:
Picture a full-on headshot of the marvelous Julio in all his sunburned glory, complete with Neil Diamond-ish hair and perfect white blocky teeth peeking from a come-hither smile. Then, right next to his mouth, is the word "Hey!" as if he's sittin right next to you at the Electic Q in Juarez.


It's wonderful, trust me. As a true cheese connoisseur, I know of what I speak.
So anyway, as we headed back to the theatre, Julio safely wrapped up in a bag under my arm, I figured the day couldn't get any better than this.

Oh, but I was wrong!

Seated just in front of us and to the right was none other than Mike Tyson, tattoo faced and all!

As the lights dimmed and the film began, I took the movie in with a different perspective. I couldn't help but think that I was watching it with Mike.

I mean, to all of us, this was a comedy. To him, it must have been a sort of inspiration. Was he thinking, in that little brain of his, such thoughts as "maybe I should get in the ring with a girl!"

I dunno. But the Chaz character became a symbol of Mike Tyson for me. You know, this kid from the wrong side of the tracks that makes it against all odds, then eventually loses it due to bad behavior in the ring (or... uh, RINK).

On that end, although the movie was pure joy, I thought it could have explored this angle a little more. Like..
1. I would have liked more of a father-son bond between the coach and Chaz. It was obvious they connected. It would have been sweet to see some man hugs between those two. He'd never had a coach, and the coach had never been appreciated. Both had dreams of glory... they were a perfect match. The love was THERE.

2. Same for Jimmy and his rich dad. Some of their backstory, including the other Drago-like athletes he had adopted would have worked. I'd love to have seen their little family reunion. It would have been a good opportunity to make fun of those trendy Mia Farrow-Angelina Jolie bullshit "families" (I mean, COME ON, do you REALLY believe they'll all get along when they get older, and they'll spend their days sitting around all U.N.-style, holding hands and singing Kumbaya or whatever?). It would have been fun to see them all together.

3. WHERE THE HELL WAS TONYA HARDING?!!! I kinda thought that when Chaz was explaining all his tattoos, he would point to the biggest one and say something about how that represented his true love, "the one that got away", and there would be some flashback to the torrid love affair he'd had with Tonya, and how they split up because she didn't skate fair or something. Then, in the end when the blond chick throws her pearls on the rink, Tonya could appear and kick her ass, then go flying into Chaz's arms. Somehow, I got the sense the writer's had thought of this, but for whatever reason they were unable to find her or something.

Oh well. The movie was pretty good, on the whole. Coulda been better, though.

I wonder what Mike thought?

Good ole Mike Tyson. Whenever I see "Blades of Glory" on its endless future TNT re-runs, I'll always think of him...
And Julio Iglesias.


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